Like I mentioned the other day, I'm starting a new project coming in February so I've been doing quite a bit of research on the topic. Trust me, I'd like to share with you this mystery project, but you will just have to keep checking back in to see what all the hype is about. For now, I'll only give you a slight hint, it has to do with reviving health through delicious recipes and a slight amount of "detoxing". I use the term detoxing loosely not in a sense of weight-loss or the likes, but it does describe what will be happening both physically and emotionally. Are you confused yet? Good, I have to keep you coming back for me somehow.
Back to the slight control freak I had just mentioned. I can't say I used to be this way, but rather it stemmed from the ED and also from the lack of structure growing up. To say I embraced dominance with warm open arms is a small understatement, after all being in command of every little detail of my day - more like what I consumed (or not) within that day - was ultimately what the ED wanted. And so it started, first by way of calories, to foods, to ingesting certain foods at certain times under certain circumstances and eventually to complete manipulation of my diet to mere nothing. Unabbreviated and relentless control, perpetuated by and fueled for the ED.
In this healing process, I have begun to release myself of this sense of ultimate domination over what I intake and many other phases of my life. However, it has been probably the most challenging aspect of this journey. Letting go of the compulsive habits and mentality is difficult to do, but I am getting there. Not meticulously measuring and counting each facet of meals has been the most freeing feeling. I no longer write down and calculate everything I eat, nor do I eat the same exact thing everyday. It may be similar in a sense - salads, oats, smoothies - but I have found myself enjoying the opportunity to spice it up with something new and different. I have even discovered a (gasp!) love for food and preparing it.
During my time in Boise while I was without the stability and support - physically, not emotionally - of the Train I had to find my own strength which led me raw (or semi-raw) veganism. I had never felt such clarity, such vigor, such freedom in my own skin - and from the ED. However since moving back to the Midwest I slipped back into a slight rut, not trying many new recipes or even really enjoying the process of fabricating each meal, and subsequently losing that sense of self I had found.
This passion for discovering new recipes, techniques and freedom is what led me to this upcoming project I will be launching in February, in hopes that I will be not only be as strong and healthy as I was in Boise, but far more being that I have already begun to find my way without it. Not to mention I have so much love and support surrounding me pushing me to that final step to achieve freedom and peace of mind.
I hope you'll all join me on this new project. This is all I can divulge at this time, but come back tomorrow and you will all be in for a real treat, the first annual February In The.... oops!...not yet.
Back to the slight control freak I had just mentioned. I can't say I used to be this way, but rather it stemmed from the ED and also from the lack of structure growing up. To say I embraced dominance with warm open arms is a small understatement, after all being in command of every little detail of my day - more like what I consumed (or not) within that day - was ultimately what the ED wanted. And so it started, first by way of calories, to foods, to ingesting certain foods at certain times under certain circumstances and eventually to complete manipulation of my diet to mere nothing. Unabbreviated and relentless control, perpetuated by and fueled for the ED.
In this healing process, I have begun to release myself of this sense of ultimate domination over what I intake and many other phases of my life. However, it has been probably the most challenging aspect of this journey. Letting go of the compulsive habits and mentality is difficult to do, but I am getting there. Not meticulously measuring and counting each facet of meals has been the most freeing feeling. I no longer write down and calculate everything I eat, nor do I eat the same exact thing everyday. It may be similar in a sense - salads, oats, smoothies - but I have found myself enjoying the opportunity to spice it up with something new and different. I have even discovered a (gasp!) love for food and preparing it.
During my time in Boise while I was without the stability and support - physically, not emotionally - of the Train I had to find my own strength which led me raw (or semi-raw) veganism. I had never felt such clarity, such vigor, such freedom in my own skin - and from the ED. However since moving back to the Midwest I slipped back into a slight rut, not trying many new recipes or even really enjoying the process of fabricating each meal, and subsequently losing that sense of self I had found.
This passion for discovering new recipes, techniques and freedom is what led me to this upcoming project I will be launching in February, in hopes that I will be not only be as strong and healthy as I was in Boise, but far more being that I have already begun to find my way without it. Not to mention I have so much love and support surrounding me pushing me to that final step to achieve freedom and peace of mind.
I hope you'll all join me on this new project. This is all I can divulge at this time, but come back tomorrow and you will all be in for a real treat, the first annual February In The.... oops!...not yet.
